So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
