She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My life is pants optional.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
