it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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