white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
