YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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