Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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