Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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