i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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