i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
