WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
