don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
