Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
