turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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