I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
