actually, I'm a sock model
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
