Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
