so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
