nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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