you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
