Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
