My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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