i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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