just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
