My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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