wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
