I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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