So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You are a genius and a whore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
