I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
