there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
