hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just found puke in my bra..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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