OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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