I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
