i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
