She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
