remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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