After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
