Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
