It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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