$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
