just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
