After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
