No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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