dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
