I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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