Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
