i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
