Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
