I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I intend to get homeless drunk
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
