Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
