Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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