YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
