so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
